What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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tom pauling

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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James Patrick Campbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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