Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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