Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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j

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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