Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

to get to the other side.

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

FUS RO DAH!!!

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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