What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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