What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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