Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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