I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Dakota Fanning

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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