Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Knock Knock! Come in..

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops