Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +33

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops