SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

What's the worst way to die? Alone.

Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

what came first the chicken or the chips

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

Get up Look in the mirror

penis?

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...