What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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