What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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