You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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