How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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