what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

every cloud has a silver lining

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops