What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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im at school

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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