It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

Poop

24

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

Agent 47.

What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...