What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Why didn't he finish his

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops