You and your parents are going to die today

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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The Female Orgasm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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