Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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Women's rights

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Christianity

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Where are you going Your house

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Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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