How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is racecar backwards in reverse

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

gay people

thumb_up thumb_down -6

(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops