What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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religion

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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hi will

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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Hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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