A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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