Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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