Democracy.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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