A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops