Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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