why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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black people

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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a woman votes!

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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