Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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