A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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69

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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