What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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