What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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