Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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