How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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2 Penises

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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