did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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A

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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