Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Jason Connor.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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My Nan, that is all.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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