Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops