A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Gay Rights

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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