- Anti Joke

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Samraj.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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