While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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Your mom is so fat...

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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justin bieber

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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