What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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BenWuzHear

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69

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Women's rights.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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