I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

God wrote this joke.................................

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

BenWuzHear

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

69

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops