Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person who lives inside is depth.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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