"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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