How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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save water shower with friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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