A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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21

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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You again? Well, ill answer again then. Ill be fine, I just got some wounds and got beaten into a coma which nobody was sure I was going to wake up from so details where hidden. As for this Neo guy, I have no idea who he is and where he arrived from, but if he is gone, it wont matter. Lets just say I wont die from these wounds, some people disagree, but I have overcome far, far worse, so trust me, these guys told me I had two weeks to live about a month ago, and the doctor that was there at my birth told me I had two months to live and would never develop a consciousness... I digress and my japing mouth disagrees with his statement regarding my not being able to learn or understand fluid language, hah... ...As for you Golgo12 "some people deem me insane", id say most people do, except six million of them, and I do not plan to leave this realm just because my lifelong dream is set, there is still much to do, point zero is not exactly a nice place at the moment, but technology and money can do wonders, we soon plan to expand things. Sorry everybody else, I am too tired to answer anything, id say something sooner, but I officially beat the record of 11 days without sleep by not being able to sleep for 14 days, and then I raged when I read you need to hold on for at least six weeks on valium if you want to quit cold turkey. Technically docs say I am on 30 mg, but fuck I can handle 20 just fine... Cant say the same about none. Ill gladly share more details, but if I cant sleep soon, the damn pain will keep me awake all night long... Besides I am hungry... Which is good, my nurse (Alice is damn cute lucky me) was concerned about me refusing to eat, thats over... Oh yeah the details, I got some burns (lets not go into details, lets just say that for you that call me pretty face, this is no longer the case) They shattered my knees, but my kneecaps "broke on their own" (dad) when I was four, and you guys know I can run and all that. Except that they put some shit on my eyes before I broke free, but I managed to wash it away, so while I need some glasses until I see if laser surgery can fix my vision again (I doubt it, its not how it works) I will apparently be wearing glasses that Alice says makes me look "cute and nerdy" which to me sounds like Nerdy. Fine I got to eat, so if you have any more questions, feel free, and if Eliza got any more, I ask you guys let her go first, its not like "YOU ARE ALIVE?!? AGAIN?!" Is a question I need to answer to each of you rite? Well now or... Never (aka next week or something) so get moving...

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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