What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Turn around.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops