GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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The Pope

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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cancer

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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a

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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