What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

thumb_up thumb_down +2

poop is very very yummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

thumb_up thumb_down

im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down

I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops