Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops