Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am a n1gger.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Frenchman stays and fights

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops