- Anti Joke

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

Why id the Jew keep putting his name at the end of anti jokes? He was an attention seeking big nosed virgin kunt

Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

soccor

How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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