a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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